66 Questions About Episode 6
Welcome to Thrones week! In anticipation of the Season 7 finale on Sunday, explore the weirdness of Westeros with one piece every day! Spoilers through the episode "Beyond the Wall".
A little over two months ago, I wrote a piece called '55 Questions About Pirates 5' which explored the nuances, nonsense and nether regions of a film that while entertaining, made very little sense. Last night's episode of Thrones was likewise entertaining, and probably made even less sense. As such, here are 66 questions – and around a hundred follow-up questions – for Episode 6.
Questions for Daenerys
- WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO HIM THE FIRST TIME?
- More interestingly, why DID you listen to him the second time? An in-person Jon Snow, who you liked and respected, told you that he needed help and he was going on a suicide mission. He took Jorah, who you also like and respect. And a raven convinced you?
- Why couldn't she have gone to the Wall and come back just like she did? No one would have noticed! It's not like Cersei is a threat. A drive-by wight snatching would have taken a day at most.
- I'm not well-versed in dragon communication, but why wouldn't you tell them to directly attack the Walkers? Why didn't anyone bother telling her that's what she should do?
- Is Viserion + Thoros for a wight the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals? Maybe ever?
- Does Dany know any other commands besides 'dracarys'? Is she mentally linked to all of the dragons? What are they thinking about all the time?
- Does she maintain that mental link to a certain degree even after Viserion was resurrected?
- How did Dany get the wight past the wall, considering that the Wall is supposed to block the dead? Is it okay if the dead person is willingly being brought across with a living person? Does it not count since Dany probably flew over the wall?
- Did Dany peek under the blankets at Jon's pecker while he was out?
- What would happen if Dany waited until the Walkers approached the Wall, and then melted down the Wall with dragonfire, drowning the wights and Walkers? Isn't that a better plan than anyone this season has had so far?
- I realize that I've been doing it for a while, but isn't Danny a boy's name? Makes it slightly unattractive to call her that to her face.
- Is aunt-nephew incest worse than brother-sister incest? Is there a weird power dynamic thing that happens in bed?
Questions for Winterfell
- What was Sansa even trying to find in Arya's bag? What did she hope to find?
- Why is Sansa listening to Littlefinger when just a few episodes ago she gave him the cold shoulder? Does he look more attractive when Jon's not around?
- What the fuck is Bran doing? Did someone forget to wheel him back in? Did he freeze to death? If he got frostbite in one eye, would he be a two-eyed raven? That is, a regular raven?
- Does anyone care about Bran at all? For all the discussion around every episode, I doubt that a single person in the world was thinking, "I wish we had gotten to see Bran this episode." At this point, even his sisters have forgotten about him – convenient considering Arya could have used him to see whether Sansa was actually in distress while writing her 'treacherous' letter. It's worth noting that Ser Davos, Brienne, Varys, Sam, and Jorah have all appeared in more episodes than Bran.
Questions for Snowcean's Seven
- Okay let's do the fucking raven thing first. It's admittedly been a time-lapsed season, with characters travelling continents at incredible speed, but this one seemed a little far-fetched. Looking at this map, we can assume that the distance from 'somewhere north of the Wall' to Dragonstone is about 2500 miles, a little shorter than the distance from Los Angeles to New York. Assuming a dragon travels about as fast as a plane, let's assume this flight took five hours for Dany to get to the battle. The raven had to bring news to Dany first, also travelling 2500 miles. If it was a Golden Eagle, it could travel at 80mph, meaning it would take about 32 hours to get to Dany. But before the raven could be sent, Gendry had to get news to the Wall by physically running there. A healthy male in his twenties could probably run for less than 2 hours in a snowstorm until exhaustion. And if we add an hour for the message and raven to be prepared, another hour for the message to actually get to Dany after the raven arrived, another two hours looking for the actual site of the battle, and five hours for conservatism, that brings us to 48 hours (2 days). That's a reasonable time for them to be stuck on that lake. We already knew it had been at least a day, since they fell asleep and woke back up. So this one's fine. (Except for when they said in a previous season that it takes two days for a raven to fly from Winterfell to Castle Black, which is like 200 miles, so I don't fucking know man)
- This begs the question, how could this time have been reduced? Perhaps by bringing horses so Gendry didn't have to walk?
- Maybe bring the damn raven itself and cut out the middleman?
- Why didn't they all bring arrows? You'd think obsidian-tipped arrows would be incredibly useful when you're trying to attack from a distance.
- Who were the random people in their party who died? Did they have names? How many of them died?
- By the way, should they have saved the polar bear for Lyanna? She's from Bear Island, so that would have been a dope vehicle.
- Did they have anything to eat while they were stuck on the lake?
- Did they eat Thoros?
- Speaking of Thoros, what dumb negligence led to his death? He froze to death! Even though he was wearing the same shit as everyone else! And, you know, they have flaming swords to keep warm!
- How do they light their swords on fire? Is it magic? Flint and steel? Oil and combustion? Can anyone do this?
- Why wasn't everyone doing this?
- Also, shouldn't Thoros be the most closely protected? He has the best superpower! He can bring people back to life! Why was he the one to get mauled?!
- Why did Beric not seem to give a shit when he died? He was the only known person – besides Melisandre, who kinda improvised from memory – with resurrection ability!
- Why does Beric Dondarrion matter anymore? Thoros was the important one, Beric was just the tool. If Thoros could revive himself, I'm sure he would have preferred to do that. Now Beric is just some guy with an eyepatch.
- Why did no one tell the Hound to stop throwing stones? Maybe calling him a "dumb cunt" would have helped.
- Why wasn't everyone consistently throwing stuff into the water or stabbing it to make sure it didn't re-freeze?
- Fall back? Jon Snow, master tactician, somehow thought that there was a way to fall back on a circular island.
- How cold is it north of the Wall? Zero degrees Farenheit? Twenty below? Because that affects how fast the lake would re-freeze. If it were the latter, it would take a little over two days to build up eight inches of ice, which is enough to hold a car. Notably, a thrown rock wouldn't be a good indicator of whether the ice could hold humans.
- How did Jon know that Gendry was the fastest? He's known him for like 2 days. Is it because he's the youngest?
- Did Gendry really not have any weapons besides the warhammer? What if there was another polar bear? Or a stray wight?
- Why didn't they send multiple people to run back, maybe have one person carry the wight? Wasn't that the most important part?
- Why couldn't Benjen take the two seconds that it took him to say "there's no time" to actually get on the horse?
- Why didn't Benjen give Jon the weird fire chain thing? Maybe that's where the walkers got the chains!
Questions for The White Walkers
- Is all of this really Craster's fault? Remember, he sacrificed all of his baby boys to the Walkers, so it's conceivable that all of the main White Walkers we've seen are Craster's children. Apparently the only way to create White Walkers is to convert them while they're babies, and I'm not sure the Walkers had a solid supply of babies north of the Wall.
- How was the first White Walker created? We know that the Night King was created when Leaf stabbed a first man with obsidian, in a rogue weapon Jason Bourne kind of way. We've established that future White Walkers are courtesy of Craster, but there has to be the one that transports the babies to the gay conversion center or whatever it is.
- Is it possible that any of the White Walkers were Gilly's sons? Or maybe her brothers? Definitely her cousins, right? But I guess her brother are also technically her cousins. Ew.
- If so, could she exert her motherly influence and reprimand them for being bad boys?
- Where did the ice polar bear come from? And why is there only one? Is it that sad global warming mascot polar bear?
- Is the Night King incompetent? He seems to be partially an evil foil of Dany (who is also incompetent), and partially a John McCain-esque troll. He's done a lot of standing and slow walking around while other people do his bidding, mostly because it's probably hard to move around with obsidian lodged in your heart and feeling like D'Angelo Russell. But standing at the top of a mountain waiting for things to happen doesn't seem like a great evil villain plan.
- Can a dead person/animal breed with a living one? What would happen if Nymeria got with that polar bear?
- Why was there a random Walker ranging party with only a dozen wights? It's not like they have a shortage of wights. Even Lyanna Mormont had more men!
- Why was literally only one wight somehow not connected to that specific Walker? Wouldn't that Walker not have control over it?
- How many ice spears does the Night King own? We've actually seen these spears since the end of Season 2, when a Walker stares down Sam, so we can assume that each Walker carries one. Is it given to them when they're made? Is it possible to make more? Are they actually just made out of ice? Do they have any magic attached to them? Are they like reverse-dragonglass for humans?
- On that note, how exactly does dragonglass affect Walkers? If they were holding some in their hand, would they shatter from the contact? Does there need to be force applied, in the form of swinging a Valyrian steel sword?
- Is the army of the dead connected via Hive Mind, in Ender's Game fashion? If so, why are the wights dumb enough to walk onto a thinly frozen lake? If not, how does the Night King control them? They apparently speak in a language called Skroth, which sounds like ice cracking.
- Is there a tiered Hive Mind, where the Night King controls the Walkers and the Walkers control the wights? Do things get lost in translation when the orders come from the top, like a bad game of telephone?
- Do the Walkers have any semblance of free will? Can they choose to take a day off? Could they openly defy the Night King?
- Is it snowy everywhere because it's winter, or because of the Walkers? The varying length of the seasons implies that it's not really because of some axial tilt-like feature of the planet Westeros is on, unless they have a strange Pluto-like orbit around their sun. Also is it winter in Dorne right now?
- How many White Walkers are actually left? We're used to seeing around four – not including the Night King – and Sam/Jon have each killed one. So we should be down to two.
- We know wights are effectively blood-riders to Walkers, but are the Walkers similarly connected to the Night King? If he dies, is that it?
- How did the Night King nail Viserion right in the neck – probably the only place where he could get a one-hit KO – while Viserion was flying far away from him, but fail to hit the much larger Drogon who was much closer?
- Did Craster own a Home Depot in those parts? They needed a lot of chain.
- Or was the chain just made of ice? What's the tolerance spec on the Night King's machining capability?
- Are the wights afraid of water or just too uncoordinated to swim?
- Either way, how were they somehow able to dive deep enough to wrap up Viserion? You'd think that a dead dragon is pretty dense, and who knows how deep that lake is.
- Why didn't the Night King just dive down himself and touch the dragon to raise it, instead of doing all that extra work? He is quite the patient man.
- Is it feasible for the Night King to just fly Viserion all the way to the Iron Throne? Maybe he can meet up with everyone in time for the season finale!
- Can Viserion still breathe fire? That seems contradictory to the whole ice thing.
- And if he can't, can he breathe ice? I don't know how you breathe ice, but breathing water seems kind of lame.
- Wouldn’t it actually be really easy to kill Viserion? He's a wight, not a walker, since he was turned after he died and not as a baby. And wights are the easiest to kill, as demonstrated by Drogon. Shouldn't any fire or dragonfire be good enough?
Clearly, we know nothing.