Last week, I went to a Migos concert, and it was horrible.
From The Apprentice to Big Brother to The Ultimate Merger, most of Omarosa’s adult life has quite literally been about winning.
Why should there be different awards for men and women?
Netflix is set to enter a new era of original content, but a shift in strategy may be necessary to maintain dominance in the streaming universe.
Two-time Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner hasn't yet gotten the role of a lead in an action flick, which is long overdue for an actor of his caliber. Let’s see where his best fits might be.
Cohen’s characters are designed to be foils of those he's interviewing, but he's at his best when ridicule isn't his first priority.
Every so often, something happens in the news that gets through to everyone.
You win elections to pass legislation to help people. You don't cave on legislation just for the hope of winning an election.
The Opposition wasn't simply catharsis, it was a cartoonish but honest deconstruction of the fringe conservative viewpoint
The NBA draft is by far the most exciting event to live tweet because it's the single most chaotic day in all of sports.
I've spent a lot of time sports-hating LeBron James.
What will it take to get Isaac in the game?
Some teams have found a way to exploit the way that the game is refereed, meaning that we're in for some long-overdue changes to the official rulebook of the NBA.
Probably the best thing I discovered in my research of D’Souza was that the first line of his Wikipedia page ends in "pardoned felon", which definitely means that his obituary will do the same.
Solo thrives in its unnecessary-ness, relishing its place as a "hey, that was fun" kind of movie instead of the polarizing, controversial fare we've grown accustomed to.
Is it finally time to end cinematic time travel?
Comedian Michelle Wolf let off a barrage of jokes, which are customary things at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. But some snowflakes like Sarah Huckabee Sanders aren’t having it.
Listen to the kids, bro.
After all, despite his ideology, he's surely a reasonable man.
Geometry is a perfect case study of all the useless things that we make kids learn in high school, a microcosm of the rigidity of government-mandated curricula.
Two-hundred years into the American experiment, it's okay to admit that the reason things aren't working isn't necessarily because of the people, but because of the structure they're placed in.
Two UC Berkeley pre-med students have started a premium consulting service for other pre-med students. In this context, we explore the extents of the phrase, "If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Ingraham uses her political punditry as a shield, serving as a gatekeeper for the realm of politics as a whole. She immunizes political elites from criticism, arming only herself with the credibility to voice an opinion about them.
It's not that it doesn't matter in the sense that Trump won't face consequences, which he probably won't. It doesn't matter in the sense that palace intrigue is not important.
In a world that wasn't saturated with political analysis, a president setting his annual agenda would have been relatively important. But those days have passed us by.
LinkedIn awards an infinitely long curriculum vitae to those who don't have enough to fill half a page on that Word document they're supposedly good at using.
I don't think college should be free.
For me, Oprah fails one important checkbox: she's not a politician.
Unfortunately, being dumb isn't illegal.
while Bannon was complicit in building his persona as a master marionette, it's now apparent that he too is just a leach in the mold of his prized candidate.
A decade from now, we'll likely look on being transracial in just the same way as we did racism, sexism, and being transgender. Rachel Dolezal may not truly be African-American, but if she wants it, we can all certainly say she's culturally black.
Think about the movie Passengers from late last year with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence. Now, imagine that Pratt was descended from three generations of important people and Lawrence suddenly had telekinetic powers.
It's hard to care about someone when they're too powerful. It's hard to buy into the concept when there's someone who defies it entirely.
It's okay to admit that you have faults. It's okay to say that you forgot, that you didn't feel like it, or that you're a generally lazy person.
It's fairly easy to tell when someone thinks they're too cool for a dating app.
There's a clear distinction between #metoo and former high-profile Hollywood cases, and why none of the others engendered such a movement.
Most importantly, he'll never learn that there's accountability for your actions, because you can just go halfway around the world to prove a point.
It's hard to not be cynical about this move, but it deserves to be judged by impact as opposed to intent.
Wildcat parent Shardé Carrington, posted a semi-viral Facebook message that detailed a since-controversial exercise in eighth grade history class. There are two ways to take issue: the sensitivity and the effectiveness.
Back in the first season, there were three main characters put to the axe. These all felt earned. But the same can't be said of all the tombstones in the realm.
The nuance that the show's late-season success is predicated on shines in the supporting cast, namely two.
What if we changed some things? Just some teeny-weeny minor ones?
As Thrones enters its offseason, it seems like some of the characters will need some part time jobs. Fortunately, football is right around the corner.
Let's explore the nuances, nonsense and nether regions of 'Beyond The Wall' through the lens of 66 questions – and around a hundred follow-ups to boot.
Seven seasons into Game of Thrones, and many of our favorite characters are falling prey to incompetence, one dumb plan at a time.
If it's controversial whether it's racist, then let's move on and focus on something important.
Thrones pushes onward, a beneficiary of the many characters from which it can carefully extract story, before ultimately leaving them for dead – its signature and preferred plot-advancing mechanism.
If there was a President of Twitter, I'd vote for him. But the problem is that Twitter – arguably Trump's most marketable skill – is the antithesis to the presidency.
Scaramucci was a Trump-concentrate, as if you packed him into a five-hour energy bottle and fired it up your ass with a magnum.
With less than a dozen episodes remaining, Thrones could use an injection of energy, possibly in the form of one of these twists (HBO, feel free to use any of them for free). Can Ser Jorah become the Night Terminator?
Being a sincere, decent person is under the 'preferred skills' part of the job listing, not the 'required experience'. But this isn't a referendum on his potential to be a good president, it's a critique of his ability to even enter this metaphorical ring.
Going from five options (stars) to just two (likes) feels like a step back; after all, doesn't a rating of 3.2 tell me more than 150,000 likes? To make ratings into a real indicator of success, there has to be a recognition that ratings and rankings are distinct.
I imagine how my life would change if I lived their idea, asking myself, "is this that which I so feared?"
Whether this is good or bad for children is definitely out of my realm – that's a space that's been covered by psychologists and school administrators and a million think piece artists. I'm here to arbiter whether it's too uncomfortable to exist at all, a decision I'll ponder by debating a single criterion: would I show this to my kid?
Spicer, much like a small sixth grader, often uses frustration or irritation as an outlet for words. However he, unlike a sixth grader, has an audience of millions every single day. And it's intoxicating.
With a beloved character, a fun-loving premise, snappy dialogue, and an insatiable thirst for adventure, there's no excuse to not make more. Here's a not-so-rough outline of what the next five Pirates movies will look like.
Here are 55 questions – and in some cases, my suggested answers – for the writers and viewers of the latest Disney cash grab. Spoilers ahead.
Goodell’s stubbornness and pride helped his arch-nemesis win the big game, all because he refuses to overhaul the rules governing overtime. There has to be a better way, right? Or at least a different one?
Prometheus serves as an example that when the show defines the character, it creates a far superior product than when the character defines the show.
When in life you find yourself angry, or offended, or even upset, it's somewhat educational to ask why. Because those aren't necessarily emotions, they're reactions. Frustration is natural, it's instinctive, but how you *choose* to react is all up to you.
It's not easy to be a loudmouth. You have to be cautious about what you say – not in the 'back your car out of the driveway without hitting a small child' kind of cautious, but rather a curatorial kind of cautious. Everything you say has to be tailored for maximum public impact, and there are few that have such natural talent like Lavar Ball.
'Evidence' is usually never enough to irrefutably pick one political choice over the other, because if it was, then engineers and scientists would be politicians. I don't doubt that politics shouldn't enter science. But maybe science should have some place in politics.
When you say 'happy birthday,' my default reaction is confusion. What does it mean? What are you trying to say? That single statement, those two words, they ooze with disrespect.
Bunmi Latidan begs, “someone please explain to me why she should have 2-3 hours of homework to do every night.” Gladly.
This is not about freedom. It never was. If you want to make this about free speech, I have one question for you: Is that a constitution in your pocket, or are you just excited to see Ann?
It's an app typified by its piss-yellow color and naked ghost that begs the question: if what you're posting is going to vanish from existence in 24 hours, was it ever really worth capturing in the first place?
Rude-Ra is a brown Republican, a fact that he wants you to know so much that he’s made it the name of his Twitter account. His feed serves as a re-tweet base for great Americans such as Ann ‘Original Sin’ Coulter, Bill ‘Oh Shit’ O’Reilly, and more.
This this isn't some zero-sum karmatic personality gauge, where we should focus on the diamonds in the rough or use the good to absolve and justify the bad. It's simply an acknowledgement that 'why are you giving him a platform' is a dangerous attitude to have.
Let's hold him to a high standard for an award show speech. You know, the same medium by which Meryl Streep just dissed the NFL and MMA for some reason in a speech that was equally tangential, but she's Meryl Streep so it's okay.
At best #notmypresident is productive, at worst it’s… I think the word was ‘treasonous’. Protesting has traditionally been an act by which change is driven, but barring a constitutional amendment, 290 electoral votes makes this situation fairly ironclad.
Over five million people didn’t vote for either one. Five million idealists whose only crime is not understanding where idealism and practicality diverge, and who just want to feel warm and fuzzy inside about the candidate they chose.
90% of the events are uninteresting (beach volleyball), uncompetitive (basketball), don’t gauge human physical ability (shooting), strange (rhythmic gymnastics), or involve making horses jump and swivel (equestrian dressage – no, I didn’t make that up).
It’s Mike Pence vs. Tim Kaine – two old white guys going at it for the first time since the Expendables 3! On a related note, aren’t ‘Christina Christie’, ‘Marcela Rubio’, and ‘Unshaved Bush’ near the top of the Hot Girl Name power rankings?
Drinking games aren’t really appropriate anymore – I think we’ve built up a good tolerance by now. In celebration of how we have somewhere between a 40-43% chance of getting fucked, let’s try some fucking games instead.
Apparently Lochte was jacked up on testosterone from using his 42 free condoms to the point that he stood up to super scary graveyard shift security guards. Did the bleach in his hair seep through to his brain? Is this a side effect of Zika or pH-imbalanced-water?
It further complicates the matter when we don’t know what to call him. First Laddie? First Man? Would Michelle Obama give him a tour of his old house, as the outgoing First Lady usually does?
He probably has the record for the number of movies which have the protagonist’s name in the title – Will Hunting, Private Ryan, Mr. Ripley, Gerry, Spirit, Grimm, and the Bourne franchise – a record which is probably a little more meaningful than Academy Awards.
I leaned into her ear as she took me inside her – much like nineteenth-century Europeans took the Chinese over opium – and whispered “safe spaces,” a phrase that would turn any group of women into a waterslide.
If you haven’t heard the rumblings caused by the incoming bandwagon to the Bay Area, it’s because an already-legendary Golden State Warriors team added one of the best players in the history of the league... from Georgia. The country, not the state.
In case you’re as bored as I was while waiting between picks, here’s a picture of Rihanna with LeBron’s number written on her stomach with some lotion. In related news, LeBron is married to his high school sweetheart.
This shall be a bar like no other – one devoted to the continued understanding of our physical universe, as we actively display an ignorance to the effects of alcohol on our physical body.
Did you hear about what happened in Orlando? No no, not the kid getting killed by an alligator at a beach that had a curious lack of “Alligators will kill your kid” signs. No, not the YouTube singer that got shot at a concert and reminded us of how much more sentiment we can muster for famous people.
Tonight, I’ll wait for the wave of the #neverforget or #jesuisUCLA (or whatever the fuck hashtags are being used now) profile pictures, and listen in on Obama’s latest resigned address on the matter. Shock value was good. But only for the first few times.
Instead of sitting in a geometric configuration that would allow you to reach across the table, you’ve chosen to reach over your partner’s arms, preventing them from eating food and likely sowing the first seeds of resentment.
Whether you make one because a ‘friend’ dared you to, or because you just wanted to get matches to see how many you could get, or just so you could have another mindless activity to pass time on the can, the day is coming.
I’m the friend you go to when you broke something super expensive and need a quick replacement, or when you’re really interested in getting that one thing you think you want but that you’re really going to use once before it turns into a dust-catcher.
Apparently Barrows Hall – the eight story melted ice cream sandwich that serves as a sweat incubator during the early Fall – was named after some guy who talked shit about Black and Brown people.
Through my experiences of speaking, like talking to people in daily life, and talking to lots of people with whom I don’t want to talk, and actually being generally lauded as competent in the use of the English language, I’ve learned some things about public speaking that I want to share.
In his final days, Jeb didn’t go down quietly. He took off the glasses – something that’s known in political circles as the anti-Rick-Perry-effect – and brought out his sainted mother who gave a ringing endorsement of one of her “four favorite sons.”
It’s the generation that one of Jeb’s grandkids probably belongs to – probably why he sings the presidential swearing-in oath as a bedtime song every night, to keep the kid motivated.
That’s because the sour taste of 2006 still hasn’t left my mouth – a time when the MySpace feed was cluttered with weird colors, autoplaying music, and an inconvenient messaging system. Facebook, the new norm, is trending dangerously the same way.
Similar to a butler, Donald Trump is here to serve us. He is a public servant who makes surprisingly good money and has a supposedly great relationship with everyone. Similar to Lee Daniels’ The Butler, Mac Miller's Donald Trump appears at first to be vastly different from the original, but converges to your expectations the more you look at it.
Beyond the impressively 110° jawline, the old-school charming smile, and the not-overbearing-but-still-ripped physique, there lies an actor who we’ve all forgotten is a movie star.
Professional baseball – and every level underneath it from the minors to pony league – is the epitome of background noise television.
There’s nothing you shouldn’t be able to joke about – it should be a discussion about the content, as opposed to the topic. You can find a painting of Nazi Germany beautiful even if there’s a Holocaust survivor in the room.
It’s not an inherently bad saying. Just one of those that’s been rewritten through overuse, mischaracterized through mockery, and privileged to the point that it could probably benefit from checking its own.
And hey, if you don’t care, you don’t care. But don’t even bother changing your picture to express sympathy. It’s an appropriate reaction, and maybe even comforts you, or for some reason might comfort someone else. But it falls under the category of ‘meaningful,’ a term which is too often equated with being ‘useful.’
Reacting to someone’s name when they introduce them is likely one of the shallowest forms of judgment. Yet, some Parents of the Year candidates seem like they’re truly out to set their spawn up for failure.
I admit it, it’s an addiction. I love debates. If I end up on one of the presidential debates (on schedule for 2040), I’ll be scribbling my running diary on the mysterious papers that candidates always have in front of them.
Mob psychology at UC Berkeley has been dormant for far too long. Facebook, Yik Yak, even bCourses (just kidding) have been lit up with Alexander Coward’s new diss track. Unfortunately, in its midst, we've all forgotten about Geoff Marcy.
I’ve watched Stephen Colbert when he manned the Colbert Report on Comedy Central, a show where he played a narcissistic conservative pundit, and now when he’s on the Late Show, a show where by his own admission he simply plays a narcissist.
Today let’s focus on a more tangible target of wrath, a building which epitomizes the worst in all of us and brings it out one uphill step at a time. That’s right, it’s Etcheverry Hall.
It’s still Hate Week, and I’m very fortunate to announce a very special unplanned guest appearance. You might say that you could have seen it coming, but really, did you want to spoil the surprise? Here's my interview with AirBears2.
I’m going to cheat today and choose eleven targets – the leaders of the Republican presidential polls! I didn’t even bother watching the lower tier debate this time, partially because Rick Perry’s smug face is no longer in the race, and because Bobby Jindal is a disgrace to Indian-Americans.
Being offended – unlike being an asshole on Tinder – isn’t a choice (oh wait, that’s a choice too). And like most personal choices put into context of a not-limited-to-a-single-person-topic, that choice doesn’t matter.
No one doubts that Taylor knew that the proverbial “you” were trouble when you walked in. But we all messed up when we didn’t take her latest obnoxiously overplayed single at face value.
People like Jon have existed in this country forever – those who satirize the political process and the media. But it wasn't for the sake of facetious mocking, but an amalgam of anger-induced exasperation and a genuine need to cultivate integrity with little more than his voice.
While the winner of the first debate – if you can call an executive that ran a Fortune-500 company into the ground and knows dick-all about policy a winner – was Carly Fiorina, it was the only highlight for a Republican woman all night.
English is so important in our country that most schools don’t even bother offering a second language until the spongelike makeup of kids’ brains have dried up at around age 14.
For all the people who think that the only basketball worth watching is the last two minutes of a close playoff game, or people who’d rather watch baseball’s opening day (I just vomited slightly), would these gimmicks get you to watch?
They've lured couples into the trap of a ticking time-bomb, encouraged Google searches along the lines of “why long distance relationships are worth it,” and spurred us to give Teen Choice Awards to Rachel McAdams for portraying one in The Notebook.
Apparently last year’s draft was about as deep as Jaden Smith’s Twitter account, and mercifully about as long as Jaden Smith’s acting career. Also, I think doing it for two years in a row actually gives you the right to say annual.
Matthew Dellavedova is without a doubt, the absolute whitest guy to play in the Finals since Mike Miller, who wins by virtue of having a whiter name.
tl;dr – This isn’t Buzzfeed. Read the whole damn thing for once.
One of the things that makes him the stuff of legend is how he seems to have a perpetually smug look etched on his face – not unlike Bane, although the poor dude doesn’t particularly have a choice.
Of the two billion males in the world who have access to this book – I’m not including third-world countries, they’ve suffered enough – I’d wager that I’m the only one that’s gotten through all five-hundred-fourteen pages of Snowqueens Icedragon’s (yes, that was her real fanfiction username) masterpiece.
At some arbitrary point in history, the rest of the world decided to agree on a way to say how much of something they were talking about. It got confusing when the Germans paid the Chinese in Volkswagens for the blueprints to a wall.